Vita's Afternoon Off
by Komidol
Summary: Vita gets some time off, and decides this time can only be spent in one way. Originally a oneshot, to be made into a Collection of Oneshots, Slight AU from other fics I've authored.


I do not own Magical Girl Nanoha or any of its characters. If I did, StrikerS would never of happened.

Takes place in my slight modification to StrikerS, AU, about few years in the future.

Vita's Graf Eisen slammed down on Caro, causing her to hit the ground. The left only Lutecia left. For A class mages, these two had worse melee abilities than a class C mage. Which is exactly why this "endurance" training was taking place.

Atleast, Vita called it "endurance training". Caro and Lutecia called it "hopeless-excruciating-and-tormenting-pain". Caro was clearly unconscious. "How are we to improve like this, Vita? Three years…it is obvious our physical prowess will never match yours."

"When you can knock me out without a problem, then your training will be complete. You can't always have your frontline carry you. There will be a time when enemies break through." Vita explained, a training shell popping out of Graf Eisen.

"We already did knock you out once, tho---" Vita cut her off.

"That does not count!" Vita charged, face red with anger, Graf Eisen getting larger.

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**Several months ago…**

It was an incredibly boring day. Vita laid back on her simple brown couch, in nothing but a white tee and her brown uniform training pants. She undid her hair and sat back uncomfortably. She had endurance training that night with Caro and Lutecia. She didn't really enjoy beating the snot out of two young girls, but it's what Nanoha had told her to do. Okay that's a lie, she did enjoy it. And she did request it. Regardless, she had finished all her paperwork, and was "On Standby" until six that night. It was noon.

She knew what she had to do.

Something she hadn't done in a while.

Something that made her very happy.

No, not that you pervert.

It was time to get a drink. It had been so long since she had a drink and something small would leave her good after a few hours. Vita grabbed her phone and thought about who to call. She played with her bunny while thinking about it. She had to go with someone because she couldn't get into the bar without them – no one would ever serve her because of her small form. Hayate, Nanoha, and Fate are guaranteed to be busy and Shamal never approved of her drinking. The holographic monitor appeared before her. "Dial Signum" The monitor made a brief noise and Signum appeared on the screen.

"Hey Signum, up for a round of Vodka? You may have won last time…" Vita started.

"Right now? Sorry Vita…I'm days behind on paperwork." Signum answered.

"I see…perhaps next time." Vita trailed off. She sighed and called Zafira next.

"Zafira, lets go out for a drink, just like old times."

"I can't…" Zafira said quietly.

"What, why not?" Vita answered "Hey what's with the hat?"

"Zazzi! Come here Zazzi!!!" Vivio called out, jumping on top of him. "Zazziiiiiiiii!" Vivio called, petting him.

"You…are a disgrace to the guardian knights." Vita said, trying to stifle her laughter.

The monitor closed and said "No connection."

After letting out a decent laugh Vita took a deep breath and sat down again. As funny as it was she still had no way to get her alcohol. She could just start drinking out her stash, but that wouldn't be much fun. As time went on however, her list had whittled down. Subaru, Teana, Arf, she had even tried Chrono and Reinforce on whim. Vita was getting angry now, she _never_ asked people to go out for an afternoon on the town, and getting turned down by so many people made her feel stupid.

She walked out of her room figuring she should just go find somebody and drag them with her. She walked down the halls, being saluted on her way down. In some ways she loved people not getting in her way, but in others she felt lonely. She never felt quite in place at Section Six, outside of her friends, but that was all she needed. Though on days like this it really made her wonder.

Not that the iron hammer knight would ever show that, of course.

Vita felt something on her head. It wasn't quite a hand. Definitely not a weapon. Too big to be a bug. Whatever it was, it wasn't welcome. She put her hand on her head and lifted off a beige ferret.

"Yuuno." She said gently.

"Yes, Vita?" Yuuno asked.

"WHO SAID YOU COULD TOUCH MY HEAD?!" She shouted, bringing out Graf Eisen, getting in form to hit him like one of steel balls in her swallow fliers.

"Vita! Wait, hey Vita! Don't do it! I'll do anything! ANYTHING! VITA?!" Yuuno cried, in his ferret form, struggling.

"Good." She said, dropping him onto her shoulder. "We're going drinking, it's on you." Vita smiled. A little yelling got her a long way. Yuuno, scared for his life, kept quiet, until they got outside.

Erio had been having a long day. All the drama with Lutecia and Caro had begun to surface now that they were a little older. Both had been best of friends and best of rivals to each other. They didn't seem up for sharing him, anymore, and his indecisiveness had finally begun to become a problem. He loved both of them too much to not pick one, and both could easily get him…aroused…in different but equal ways. This was starting to become a real problem for him. Like Lutecia said, he only had one…

"Hey Erio!" Vita called out to him. Erio saluted.

"Good afternoon, sub-commander Vita." Erio called.

"At ease, Erio! Say, Erio, what're you up to right about now?" Vita questioned.

"Well right now I'm just running off some stress, but after that I'm…" Erio looked up to see the ferret waving his little arms in distress, and Vita got a somewhat twisted smile on her face. "But then I have to submit a report on…Strada's current performance cycle…. It's due tonight."

"Oh that's nothing! It's about the right time, I'd say, huh Yuuno?" Yuuno looked up questioningly. "Erio should come with us right?"

"Well, uh…he is still only 14 and…" Vita began to play with her necklace version of Graf Eisen, smiling happily. "Yes, you're absolutely right, he should have his first time out at a bar…it could be considered chemical resistance training…" Yuuno trailed off into submission.

"Erio, go change and meet us here at 2pm. We're going to bring yah to our favorite bar. Yuuno is paying!"

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**Later that day…**

"I'm not sure if I should be…I mean I think Nanoha told me she wanted to take me out when I graduate and…"

"Come on, I'm about to teach you a valuable lesson you runt, you shouldn't complain." Vita said, pulling him around through the town.

The now-human 23 year old Yuuno followed closely behind them, observing. He wasn't going to get in too much trouble, since they had their military IDs on them, and he was posing as their legal guardian. Military can drink under supervision in public; as were the rules of Midchilda. Still, it's easier that they both had red hair; it would make their pose as brother and sister a little easier. He had forged himself an ID as their guardian – it only took a matter of minutes to hack, but he was wondering how he let himself get dragged into this mess. Sometimes he wonders if he feels more vulnerable in his ferret form. Of course, he honestly had nothing better to do this afternoon. He wasn't really letting Vita push him around – but he figured that girl(Who was about 580 years older than him) would cause more trouble than not if she didn't have something to do. He was going to hear hell from Nanoha and Fate about Erio though. "Oh, we've arrived."

Vita rushed in, while looking at Erio telling him what to order first, and unexpectedly ran into a man about 8-10x the size of both of them. "There aren't any kids allowed in here; come on now, get out." He was about to push them out, but Erio put his hand onto the man's arm before he could touch Vita, standing firmly.

"Hey, who do you think you're pushing around, we're military buddy. If you place your hand on either of us…"

"You'll get a hammer up the ass!" Vita finished for him.

"Regardless, you need a guardian to be able to dri---"

"You mean me? Nice to meet you, I'm YuunoHaralown. I would be the guardian of these two. They're fine to drink – they protect you every day, I think they can have a bit of alcohol. Sorry for their tone, they're a bit stressed – but that's why we're here after all." Yuuno Scrya lied.

"ID?" The man said, taking out a small scanner. He scanned all their IDs and handed them back. Yuuno smiled.

"…You're fine, don't be causing any trouble…little lady." Vita put her hand on her necklace containing Graf Eisen, but before she could cause any havoc, she noticed another person standing with a hand on the bouncer's shoulder.

"Now, now, Jimmy. Don't be giving my frequent customers any trouble. These are friends of the White Devil." A tall slender man with green hair said calmly. "Also they work with my brother, from time to time. They're frequent customers, just not normally here in the day when you work. Give them no trouble. But it would seem you have another one with you…Erio is it, right? I'm Aerin. Fate talks about you all the time. Please come in, I'll serve you myself."

They walked in following Aerin, the bar was mostly empty with the exception of the local drunkards and few business men most likely on a drink for lunch. It was very old-fashioned and earth styled, wooden stools, barstools, with the exception of some holographic monitors up on the wall. "Come sit at the bar, take a break Chimmins."

The bartender walked away, as Aerin set up. "What shall I serve you all today? You're here rather early. Do you have to work tonight Vita?"

"Yeah…let me tell you, this is my first break in a while, I wanted to stop in. Get me the usual, and let's start the boy off with some rum and coke."

"And yourself, Yuuno?" He asked, taking out the vodka and rum.

"You remembered my name even though I've only been here twice, I'm surprised, Aerin. Get me a B-52."

"Okay, Vodka Sunrise, a B-52, and some Rum and Coke?" He confirmed, already pouring the drinks.

"You got it. And hurry up, I've been waiting for this all day!" Vita slammed her hand on the table, excited.

"Am I supposed to be doing anything?..." Erio whispered to Yuuno.

"Nope…but you might want to catch your drink when it gets to you." Yuuno said, as his drink slid down the table and into his hand. Erio might have missed his if his only specialty wasn't speed, because before Yuuno finished his sentence his drink was already on his way. He stared at the glass for over a minute as Vita had already begun drinking away. "It's okay, Erio. I'll make sure Fate and Nanoha don't find out." Yuuno said, sipping his own drink. "Just watch out for that one."

"And what do you have to say about it, ferret-boy!?"

A couple hours and more than few rounds later the party of three was tanked.

"Hey…you didn't answer my question before! What did you mean by watch out for me?!" Vita shouted at Yuuno, in front of his face.

"Well, the Iron Hammer Knight is to be feared isn't she?" Yuuno slyly answered.

Erio looked around him. Things were spinning. That might because he was spinning too. "Have you guys ever just spun around in a circle? When's the last time you did that? This is sooooo weird…"

"Well, looks like he holds his alcohol pretty well, if he's not throwing up already." Yuuno commented.

"That's my student! I knew he was the toughest out of the bunch!" Vita proudly exclaimed, even though Erio was the only one she never actually personally trained.

"I'll say, you must like him a lot." Yuuno quipped.

Vita looked up at him. "And what's that suppose to mean?"

"Oh nothing, but it looked like you two were on a date the way you were pulling him around town like that…" Yuuno explained, only to find a pointed hammer in his face an instant later. "It was just me, obviously…" Yuuno recovered.

"Obviously. Though I won't say he isn't cute…" Vita approached Erio, who got red streaks across his face as he saw the cute girl in nothing but training clothes walk up to him, and place her palm on his face. "He did look kinda cute at the gate when he tried to stand up for me. I can see what his girlfriends see in him."

Erio snapped back quickly "They are _not_ my girlfriends." He took a step back from Vita, who was entirely to close to him to be comfortable. "So why aren't many other people here?"

Yuuno answered "Drinking is more of a night-time activity."

"Did you want to come back here with me tonight, Erio? Or maybe to my room…I have quite the stash…we could just go there after I finish training tonight…" Vita grinned, devilishly. "As your sub-commander I could teach you so many things…" Vita walked closer to Erio, now centimeters from his face.

'_Now that I see her like this, she's kinda cute…no, NO! This is Sub-commander Vita! The Iron Knight who rains death on all who oppose her…and then there's Lutecia and Caro and…then there are those blue eyes…I almost wish I could get closer...'_ Before Erio knew it, his attempt to get closer to the red head's eyes had actually forced their lips to touch. And Vita responded, quite ferociously. Erio was surprised at the sensation as she felt her tongue push at his teeth, and when he opened just a little bit his mouth opened more at the shock of her tongue on his. It turns out Erio enjoyed the smell of alcohol on her breath as he tasted around the vodka. He tried to deepen the kiss, but Vita pulled back, giggling slightly.

"Geez, you…don't you know you're not supposed to breathe through you're nose, it tickles too much…" Vita said, slightly pissed.

"Wow." Was all Yuuno had to say. "You shouldn't have been such a tease then, Vita. Still, I didn't expect him to actually take the initiative and kiss you. Wait until Caro and Lutecia hear about this."

"You traitor! You said you wouldn't tell anyone what happened here!" Erio exclaimed.

"No, no, my dear Erio. I said I wouldn't tell _Nanoha or Fate_ what happened here tonight." Yuuno said triumphantly.

"But…but I didn't mean to." Erio flustered.

"And thus you just learned something more about the adult world." Yuuno snickered a bit, laughing at his situation. He could really be a prick when he wanted to be.

"Hey, it's not like he's a pervert! What were you doing landing on my head today anyway you perverted ferret?"

"I am _not_ a perverted ferret. I was experimenting with movement magic." Yuuno tried to explain.

"So now you can easily get into the females changing room, right?"

"No because I'm intrigued with phasing through matter." Yuuno said, pushing his glasses on his face. "Though I guess I wouldn't mind spying on Hayate."

Yuuno froze. He did not just say that out loud.

"Oooohoohoooooo." Vita said, jumping on the barstool next to him, spinning on it. "It all comes out now, wait until she hears that on her answering machine tonight."

He just said that out loud. "You wouldn't."

"I would." Vita said, sipping some vodka.

"We can make a deal. I don't tell anyone about that kiss, and you don't tell anyone about what I just said, okay with you?" Yuuno pleaded.

Vita contemplated the offer for a minute. "Fine, but then I'm going to get my worth out of it." Vita said, getting up and going over to Erio. "You enjoyed it didn't you?" Vita said, eyes showing a tint of lust.

Erio nervously stood, not backing up… "Yeah…" He really did after all.

"Then do it right this time!" Vita said, clashing her lips with his, leaning forward, pushing him against the bar table. Aerin was about to tell them to stop, but since no one was in the bar anyway it really didn't matter.

Erio had definitely never felt anything like this before. The warm and wet saliva of a girl mixed in with his, tasting so odd, but never getting enough. Vita's tongue fought with his as he pulled her into a tight embrace trying to taste more of her. His eyes slanted open slightly only to see that tint of blue. Eyeing each other a blush appeared on both their faces as Vita was pulled away by Yuuno, taking a breath, a trail of saliva leading from each of their mouths into open air.

"Just what do you think you're doing, taking advantage of him like that?" Yuuno said. "And look, you've gone and suffocated him."

It was true, Erio had passed out. At this point though, Vita wasn't quite sure where she was, she just started talking. "Do you know what they call me back at the base? The Hammer Loli! Can you believe that! It's not my fault I'm stuck like this…" Vita shouted at Yuuno.

"Hey…Vita, I think I need to cut you off." Aerin said, polishing a glass. "Didn't you say you had some work to do around 6 earlier? It's almost 5 now…"

"Sure! Sure! Just bill this guy right here!" Vita said killing her last drink, patting Yuuno's chest. "And get me a bottle to go! Man, Zafira needs a drink, Yuuno you wouldn't believe this pansy ass hat I saw him in today…little flower on it and…woah, Erio was right, spinning is fun."

"You're not spinning, Vita…" Yuuno caught her as she fell limp in her arms. "Aerin, could you help me bring these guys back to base?" Yuuno requested.

"Sure, sure, I'll have Jimmy drive you. Total comes to ::80.39::, Midchilda credits." Aerin smiled, taking out his scanner.

Yuuno reached into Vita's pocket, took out a small wallet and from it a random credit card, and held it up to Aerin's scanner, and returned the card and wallet to its proper place.

Aerin smiled. "Your patronage is always appreciated! Please stop by more often, Yuuno."

"Of course." Yuuno smirked.

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Yuuno arrived at the training field at about 6:15pm, placing smelling salts over Vita.

"Agh…what is that…horrid smell…" Vita woke up. "Where am I?" Vita asked Yuuno who was standing over her. "Oh yeah…we went out drinking." She looked over the officer ready room for the training center, now knowing where she was.

"You okay to do this training?" Yuuno asked.

"Yeah…I got a headache…and my feet are still a little wobbly…heh, I guess I'm still a little tipsy." She said. "Thanks for coming, by the way. You didn't have to."

"No problem!" Yuuno said. "Now Lutecia and Caro are waiting outside, let's go see them…" Yuuno walked her outside. They went outside of the officer outpost to the main training field only to see Lutecia and Caro, fuming with energy, and obvious rage.

It all came back to Vita that moment. She reached for Graf Eisen, trying to explain to the furious girls in front of her. "I…didn't…you guys…FERRET!" She turned around to see Yuuno escaping into a small vortex in the ground.

Vita pulled out her communicator. "Dial: Hayate Yagami." Vita told it, desperately. "Hayate…requesting limiter removal. Life threatening situation."

Hayate looked up at her monitor, from a stack of paperwork. "Wait, aren't you just training the forwards? Why would you make such a request?" Hayate asked, confused.

"Nothing, never mind…just…check your answering machine tonight. Before you change out of your work clothes."

"Whaaa…what are you talking about Vita?" Hayate asked, seeing nothing but a fireball on her monitor before the call disconnected.

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A nice one shot to avoid studying for the night. I hope everyone found it comedic – let me know if I should continue with more comedy stories like this or more serious ones like in my other stories. Anyway, wrote this to take a break from "A Simple Desire", my first serious Nanoha fic. After that I'm going to probably be writing longer and more involved fictions, once I establish a good universe for the characters. So look forward to my future works.


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